Friendships and Human Relationships

 Hello my BEAUTIFUL souls!!

It's been more than a long time since I've taken a delightful pause in life to enjoy my hobby of blogging, so here I am once more. I have returned to you this time as a somewhat "enlightened" Yasmeena haha. Meaning, that there are things I want to say and share with you about these past two years since the rise of Queen Covid. The intent of this post is to serve as a reminder to gravitate towards happiness and eradicate anything blocking your sanity/peace of mind. I hope that my thoughts can translate to your lives if you happen to find yourself in any of the below scenarios. 

    *DISCLAIMER: These are merely my opinions and thoughts which could be controversial. You're welcome to disagree with me, that's totally okay. Everyone processes different, and that's what makes us all unique. Additionally, nothing conveyed in this post is an attempt to make myself appear better in any way, or to throw shade at anybody. 

This posts' topic: Friendships and Human Relationships. 

I'm going to get my hands dirty and start off with the thing that's always been at the back of my mind since the beginning of covid. Drum rolllllll - let's talk about friends. Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure where to start, but the most prominent issue I've had to deal with is eliminating those in my life who clearly do not care for my friendship and abuse my time. Let's break this down: I feel as though I'm an understanding person to the point where I consider factors such as school, work, covid, family troubles, relationship troubles, and so on. I will never fault anyone nor attack them for not being able to put time aside to communicate with me or see me while they undergo their life's problems. I get it, people have their lives to live and have many things they juggle. The issue here occurs when these so called "friends" completely write you off and your friendship is one that becomes taken advantage of over time. They say the best of friends are able to pick back up where they've left off, even if it is after a long time. Unfortunately, that has not been the case for me for the most part. If I've learned anything in life thus far, it is that humans have become out for themselves and emit loads of selfishness. It's extremely rare these days to find someone who genuinely cares about you, whether that's a friend or not. 

It's truly disheartening knowing that there are friends of mine who have expected way more out of me and abuse the kindness I have given. In the beginning, I attempted at dispelling these thoughts, which were that my "friends" don't care for me, but as time goes by, I find it to be more and more true. People have grown to be too individualistic and self-absorbed. Friendships seem to be dissipating at high rates as most people enjoy talking about themselves these days and have no consciousness of the idea of "giving and taking". Friendships are also dissolving due to differing political stances. I myself had lost a friend because they couldn't accept the fact that I would not give into their political conversations. The idea of coexisting with your friends and the people in your life who have different opinions than you have, needs to be widespread. You and your friends don't need to robotically be the same in every aspect or think alike about everything. 

To my previous thought, life has definitely become more of a "it's my way or the highway" type deal and it's just very sad. There need to be boundaries that people can respect instead of manipulating a friendship to only one party's desires. There isn't an "us" anymore, it's just "me" and what "I" want that has fed into our brains. Why should someone else's life bestow more value than my own? Why is it that people will only think about themselves and have no desire to foster meaningful friendships? It will not kill you to ask someone a question about themself and invest some time into that person. I'm absolutely positive of that. 

Honestly, at the moment I have only a handful of friends I can talk to (My best friend being my father) (Another two being my sister and fiancé) (Oh, and let's not forget my dog Leo). I've always found it difficult to make good friends just because let's face it, Girls Are Evil and that is not even an understatement. All the years in my life, all the giving, all the desire to have at least one girl best friend, and not many stood by my side. Most of the friendships I've had in my life were a form of use and abuse. No one has truly stuck. This can be attributed to many reasons including, they moved away (sidenote: these were actually the good friends), we were leading different paths due to differing maturity levels, or just plain and simple they were a b*tch....                 yikes...                  ...        With that said, I'd again, like to reiterate, that I myself have my own flaws, I am not oblivious of that. I may not have been some people's cup of tea which is understandable. Obviously, not every person in life will like me and I'm okay with that as there isn't much I can do about it. 

While there became a point during covid where I wanted to ex everyone that was toxic to me out of my life, I still knew that I could not live without people. We all need humans to share our lives and have fun with. This is something I struggled with as it became harder and harder to trust that anyone had good intentions towards me and wanted a deep-rooted friendship. Last year I found myself in a state of despair, so I decided to download Bumble BFF, join Facebook groups, and use meetup.com. To my surprise, there were a lot of girls who looked very cute and sweet on Bumble BFF. That's how I found a now good friend of mine. She's super amazing and respectful! Downloading this app and meeting a few girls was definitely a trial and error, but I'm so proud of me for putting myself out there and making a positive difference in my life instead of sitting at home, living life all depressed and alone. I thank God because this friend has been a better friend to me than a lot of people I'd grown up in diapers with. We even had a girl's trip and it was truly one of the best times in my life. It felt great to know that someone was really there for just me and my company. If you find yourself in a similar boat, take a step outside your comfort zone and give meeting new people a try. They might just surprise you.  

Another issue I've run into is trust. It seems as though there is not a soul in the world that I can trust other than members of my immediate family. I have this complex about me where I refuse to believe that people are evil. To my demise, it is always consequently the opposite. The minute I see you, I will pour out my heart to you considering I am an open book. Not only am I an open book, but I take pride in being an empath. Haha, here is where my Pisces personality kicks in. Due to my being an empath, I encourage and enjoy when people open their hearts to me so I can give my advice or just even listen. On the flip side, I fail to remember that not all people genuinely like to listen and help as I do, rather they like to listen to you so that they can take note of the negatives in your life and use them against you and gossip about you. In my life, I have trusted humans too much. When they betrayed me, I still continued to give chances as I could not stop but think that they still reserved some goodness in their hearts. Regrettably, for me, this lead me to get cheated over, time and again. I really have had to learn my lesson the hard way that I absolutely CANNOT trust anybody or share deep secrets no matter how many chances I give. The only people I can share my secrets with are my family. Your family may judge you at times, but they'll always be there and want the best for you. Your friends might be the ones you want to share your problems with, but your family will never steer you wrong. 

If you take anything from this article take this; Have your fun and go out with your friends, but try to refrain from sharing a lot of your problems with them as it may come back to bite you in the tushy. In this life it's become proven that you need to have your own back. If you want to make sure you can rely on a friend, I would suggest monitoring how they behave towards you in different settings. Meaning, see how they act when you both are alone, when they are with other friends, at parties, with parents, etc. This will help you better analyze if that person had true colors that had not yet been exposed to you. Some of you may disagree with this, but it's happened to me before where a friend acted in various manners at each occasion. When they were alone with me I would be the best friend, but when we were at a gathering, their friendship with me would suddenly disappear. It's funny how magic tricks work these days. All in all, my point is to make cautious decisions that will benefit you in the long haul and to keep a tight circle. 

That was a lot of ranting, I know, but the moral of my whole schpeel is to evaluate who you confide in, and who you let make up your time. Do these people deserve you? Are you having wholesome friendships? Do the people in your life deserve your energy? These are the things you need to think about as you get older. Trust me, it's incredibly tedious and difficult to make friends after a certain point in your adult life, so make sure you're seeking out some good humans that will support you and that you can grow with. Remember that you need people in your life so that you can increase your sense of belonging and purpose. Lean on the people who care for you and who have intentions of making your life better and increase your self worth. 

I leave you with this: Love Yourself. I haven't in a very long time and have only begun to do so. You should too. 

xoxo,